Things to go on the not a good idea list!

Probably not a good idea to tell your boss's boss I don't have time for this shit in an instant message that was not meant for her! If you remember from last year I have a problem with checking the TO: box before I type!

I'm Divorced Bithces!

Ok So it took 17 months but I am divorced!! I celebrated in Vegas with the FAM what a great way to have a DIVORCE Party!!

I love you Jen Lancaster

Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass LookBig, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer.

Ok so is that not the best title of a book you have ever heard? I got this book for my trip to Hawaii and can I tell you I was laughing so hard I woke people up out of their sleep. I read about half the entire book to my father and brother who made the mistake of sitting next to me on on the plane. This is the first book I have ever read where there is cussing and I swear she writes what I think. I have now bought all 3 of her books and am totally in love and waiting for her next book to come out next year. In the meantime I have Jennsylvania.com her blog to read.

I am currently reading Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me?

All I can say is love Jen. Love the book. I leave you with a little somethin' somethin'. "P.S. Yes, realize I dropped five f-bombs in this note.(Fuck you for counting.)

Love love love Jen Lancaster.

Best things to come from Divorce Part 1

I've found a chocolate raspberry mousse cake that is the best thing ever created. Good replacement for all the sex I'm not having.

I get to eat my favorite foods again: Sushi and Long John Silver's.

I can let the alarm go off nine times and no one says anything.

No more History Channel. Additionally, I have plenty of free channel surfing time in which to discover new shows.

All my music, all the time. And yes, that includes Vanilla Ice, Katy Perry, Weezer, and Tegan and Sara.

More room in the bed for me and my weiner. Dog. Get your mind out of the gutter.


To be Continued...

Things not to do during divorce part 1

Get distracted while eating lunch and send nasty hate mail to power company when it's meant for the ex-husband. Pretty sure they haven't gotten an email like that before...

Dial ex-husband 9 million times because you're bitter he keeps hanging up.
You will hear about this from your best-guy friend who was with the ex-husband at the time of all the phone calls.

Take ex-husband's snorkel gear to Hawaii without asking.
I'd have been fine if my brother hadn't asked to borrow it, thus causing the Ex-Husband to search for it and (accurately) come to the conclusion that I had taken it.


To be Continued...